Various liquid pursuits

I've been rather busy lately, but I am not presently at liberty to discuss precisely what it is that I have been doing. More on that later.

In my copious free time, I've been indulging in various summertime vices. Alcohol in particular. Not so much the drinking of it (although there has been some of that) but more in the manufacture of various drinks. Flavored vodkas, mainly.

It seems that Stoli, Smirnoff and a number of other companies have been busy inflicting flavored vodkas on the unwary American public, and more particularly, inflicting premium prices for their manufacture and sale. While I enjoy flavored vodkas as much as the next man (and probably more so), I do not enjoy having to pay high prices for the privilege. Thus, my essays into practical alchemy. These are the results:

Vodka Vanil or Vanilla Vodka

-One vanilla bean, cut lengthwise and serated
-One bottle of vodka of your choice(750 ml)

Place the cut and serated vanilla bean in the bottle of vodka. Keep in a cool, dark place for a week. Remove vanilla bean. Keep in freezer until time to drink, at which time, drink neat, in shot glasses. It looks like amber and tastes like silver. (Note: at the Pascha party that my church throws after the Paschal Matins and Liturgy at around 3 a.m., I can be seen going up and down, and to and fro in the parish patio, with a bottle of this pulchritudinous potable, seeking whom I might to lead into temptation).

Vodka Piertzevka or Pepper Vodka

-Two tablespoons whole peppercorns (black, white, or pink)
-One bottle vodka (750 ml)

Pour vodka into a 1 liter mason jar. Pour peppercorns into jar after vodka. Screw on top to mason jar. Taste every two hours until vodka has all the flavor of the pepper, and a little of its heat. I find four to eight hours works for me. Then take a large funnel (preferably glass or stainless steel), fold a paper towel into fours and place in wide end of funnel, place narrow end back in vodka bottle, and pour decoction through the funnel until it is all back in the bottle. Put bottle in freezer until needed. Can be drunk neat, or makes excellent Bloody Marys.

Vodka Limonaya or Lemon Vodka

-Zest from one lemon (yellow part only; avoid the white pith; a zester or microplane work for removing zest quickly)
-One bottle vodka (750 ml)

Pour vodka into a 1 liter mason jar. Pour zest into jar after vodka. Screw on top to mason jar. Taste every two hours until vodka has all the flavor of the lemon, but stop before it starts to get bitter. I find four to twelve hours works for me. Then take a large funnel (preferably glass or stainless steel), fold a paper towel into fours and place in wide end of funnel, place narrow end back in vodka bottle, and pour decoction through the funnel until it is all back in the bottle (except for the zest, of course). Put bottle in freezer until needed. Can be drunk neat, or works wonderfully with sparkling or tonic water.

Vodka Oranzhievnii or Orange Vodka

-Zest from one orange (orange part only; avoid the white pith; a zester or microplane work for removing zest quickly)
-One bottle vodka (750 ml)

Pour vodka into a 1 liter mason jar. Pour zest into jar after vodka. Screw on top to mason jar. Taste every two hours until vodka has all the flavor of the orange, but stop before it starts to get bitter. I find four to twelve hours works for me. Then take a large funnel (preferably glass or stainless steel), fold a paper towel into fours and place in wide end of funnel, place narrow end back in vodka bottle, and pour decoction through the funnel until it is all back in the bottle (except for the zest, of course). Put bottle in freezer until needed. Can be drunk neat, or works wonderfully with sparkling or tonic water.

Vodka Izviestaya or Lime Vodka

-Zest from two limes (green part only; avoid the white pith; a zester or microplane work for removing zest quickly)
-One bottle vodka (750 ml)

Pour vodka into a 1 liter mason jar. Pour zest into jar after vodka. Screw on top to mason jar. Taste every two hours until vodka has all the flavor of the lime, but stop before it starts to get bitter. I find four to twelve hours works for me. Then take a large funnel (preferably glass or stainless steel), fold a paper towel into fours and place in wide end of funnel, place narrow end back in vodka bottle, and pour decoction through the funnel until it is all back in the bottle (except for the zest, of course). Put bottle in freezer until needed. Can be drunk neat, or works wonderfully with sparkling or tonic water.

Finally, while this is not a vodka, it's well worth trying:

Quinine Tonic Simple Syrup

-Six ounces sugar (by volume)
-Six ounces water (by volume)
-One 260 mg Quinine Tablet (you need a doctor's prescription for this, at least in the U.S.)

Pour water and sugar together into small saucepan. Heat and stir until sugar has dissolved and solution is clear. Turn off heat before bubbles start to appear. (At this point, you have what is called a simple syrup. This is great for putting in iced tea or other cold liquids without the sugar leaving crystals on the bottom of the glass).

Then crush quinine tablet into powder with a mortar and pestle, and stir powder into the still hot simple syrup until the powder dissolves (Note: Quinine melts at around 160 degrees Centigrade, so you should be okay if you don't allow the solution to boil). Let solution cool to room temperature. Then use stainless steel funnel and paper towel (see instructions above) to filter solution into a bottle with a lid. The simple syrup should be clear, and you should be able to keep it without problems for weeks.

Note that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration sets the limit of quinine to water at 68 parts per million. Three ounces of this simple sugar per liter of sparkling water should do the trick quite nicely. I find, however, that pouring a jigger (One and one-half ounces) of this simple sugar into a glass, followed by a jigger of vodka (unflavored, or lemon, lime, or orange), then followed by twelve ounces of cold sparking water, also works quite satisfactorily, and tastes like Schweppes Tonic Water (or Schweppes Bitter Lemon, Lime, or Orange, depending on the type of flavored vodka you use).

Enjoy!